Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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