I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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