Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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