You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
