i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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