So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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