I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
