I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
