Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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