Ambien. No doubt about it.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Randomize
