What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
