Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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