S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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