I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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