2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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