She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
