I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
