i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize