i think i have two assholes
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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