You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
