Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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