not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
