People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
