there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize