Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
