Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
