Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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