If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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