He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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