Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
In America we eat man semen.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
