Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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