I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
No subtext here. People are naked.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
