Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
