Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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