he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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