Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
