remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
