I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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