why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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