Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
