what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize