Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
