I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
