He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
do herpes really smell.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
