i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
