Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
