they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
