I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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