either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
