man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
