The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
A+ Viking dick
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
