Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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