He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize