He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
