Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
