I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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