for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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