The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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