I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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