One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
