Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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