We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
