do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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