i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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