I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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