I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
