I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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