i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i think i have herpe
just one?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
