Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize