I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
only if we run a train.
done.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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