he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
