shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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