North Korea, Best Korea!
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize