Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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