it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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