i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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