How'd it feel making her break her religion?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
