How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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