just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
