return my video game
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
