my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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