So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
